What’s in a Name?

 

As if I needed another reason to hate the Steve Wright Show on Radio 2 (Am I the only person not to think this guy is some kind of broadcasting God? Same goes with that miserable old duffer on Radio 5 Live..Peter Allen). The other day the show was blaring out some twaddle (some people round me like the ‘non stop golden oldies’ section and I’m not that selfish) when green goblin Janey Lee Grace suddenly pulls me out of my self induced trance with the sound ‘Kak-kow-a’. Even before the word fully passes through my external auditory canal I realise she is referring to what you and I know as ‘Cocoa’.

Now I’m not stupid. I know ‘cacao’ is the proper Hispanic name and ‘cocoa’ is a derivative of that name. In England we have been using the word ‘cocoa’ since probably the 18^th century. It more than likely came about by a spelling mistake.

Let me explain. The earliest English language reference I’ve come across is in the 1633 edition of John Gerard’s famous Herbal or General History of Plants where he calls ‘Cacao’ ‘Cacoa’! See what he’s done there? He’s switched the ‘ao’ to ‘oa’. Let’s face it, it’s easier for us English to pronounce and you probably feel less of a prat saying it.

Personally I blame it all on William "Willie" George Harcourt-Cooze and his Channel 4 series.. At least he’s spent some time in South America. From other peoples laughing tackle, ‘Kak-kow-a’ just sounds plain daft.

So why have some sections of our society started saying ‘cacao’ instead of ‘cocoa’? It’s not like we are going round pronouncing ‘Barthelona’ (Castille style) instead of ‘Barcelona’ or ‘tomate’ (another Spanish Mexican acquisition) instead of ‘tomato’.

‘Cocoa’ has been cool for centuries, what’s changed? I have my theories. For nearly 3 millennium chocolate was a drink for the elite or very rich. This changed with the industrial revolution where it eventually became a cheap food for the masses. Now some people would like to reverse that. Obviously they have their reasons, some of which I actually understand. But I reckon most of it is to do with snobbery. Some people are like that. They just love to find a big stick and smack the great unwashed and ignorant over the head with it because it makes them feel much better about stuff.

In the last 20-30 years perceptions in regards to the brown stuff have changed but it is always going to be just a small niche thing discussed amongst certain enthusiasts and crazies. Will the vast majority of people in this country eventually give up their Mars Bars and Dairy Milk in favour of some Amedei  or Valrhona? Nah! No chance! Too expensive and not enough sugar content. We love sugar in this country.

It’s not even going to be up there with wine or beer because chocolate doesn’t get you pissed and everyone knows we like to get pissed.

How do I go about starting my own chocolate business? /Part 2 - Chocolate Tempering or Pre-crystallising.

In order for a product to be sold as chocolate in this country most, if not all the fat (some popular chocolates can contain up to 5% vegetable fat) inside it must be cocoa butter.

Cocoa butter is a naturally occurring fat which accounts for over half the dry weight of a cocoa bean. It’s the cocoa bean that gets processed and gets turned into chocolate (with the help of sugar and maybe a few other ingredients).

So far, so good, but wait a minute; cocoa butter isn’t any old fat. Cocoa butter displays polymorphism, meaning that it can display six different crystalline forms (gamma, alpha, beta double, beta prime, beta and Form VI)…scary stuff.

Does this mean you have to be a scientist to work with chocolate? Not really, but it does help if you can get your head around the science involved. Just don’t get too carried away and end up surrounding your self with test tubes etc to make it look like you are some kind of boffin… like some.

In a nutshell if you want your chocolates to look all sexy and stuff then it’s only the beta form that gives chocolate its desirable properties. If you want your chocolate to look all scabby and trampy looking then you better be looking at some of the other forms which are the easiest to come by.

When it comes to working with chocolate then pre-crystallisation is by far the hardest trick to learn. Not only that, but even your working  environment could have a negative effect on your results.There could be too much moisture in your kitchen for example.

If you want to produce your own chocolates then you have to learn this skill. It’s not easy. Even using different chocolates or couvertures (Cocoa butter from different growing regions can have different Triglyceride compositions) can act slightly different from one another and will require you to slightly modify your actions. Loads of things can go wrong.

One bit of advice I’d like to share with you is to forget about temperatures. As long as you have melted your chocolate between 40˚C and 45˚C that’s the last time you need to measure the temperature.

I’ve heard some people say they can tell their chocolate is tempered (old-fashioned word but still widely used) by placing some on their lips. All I can say on this subject is that those people must have some friggin amazing lips. Lips that can distinguish between different crystalline formations….they should appear on Britain’s got Talent.

Anyway, here's a nice little video from Keylink LTD that can show you in film far easier than I can explain. Give it a go and don’t give up.

If you still don't get it then invest in a course. There are loads to choose from. There are a couple here Barry Callebaut  and here Cocoa Barry.

 

Obviously you can buy certain things to make life that little bit easier when it comes to pre-crystallisation like an automatic tempering machine for instance which will set you back £300-£400 pound but if one day that machine doesn’t feel like working or you have knackered the baffle…what you going to do then?

How do I go about starting my own chocolate business? /Part 1

When you say you want to start your own chocolate business I take it that you want to make your own chocolates, package them all nicely and then sell them to the public via shops, restaurants and the internet. This I might be able to help you with.

If your future chocolate business has anything to do with sculpturing (not interested), retail shop (very little experience), bean to bar production (only what I’ve read in books, saw on TV, factory visit) or healthy chocolate then I won’t be that much help. Sorry! I might be able to point you in the right direction though….if I can be arsed.

No, you are the type of person who is good round the kitchen and decided to make some truffles last Christmas as presents to give to friends and family. Some of these people really enjoyed your truffles and thought they were that good that you should give up your career and make them commercially.

Where do you start?

First off…do you really want to give up that career? Give up 28 days holiday a year? Give up that pension? The company car? Sickness pay? The knowing that you can afford to pay the bills and know exactly what is round the corner? Your weekends away? 88 hours a week instead of 48?

All these things that make up your life are all alright and that but they just seem really boring and maybe a little depressing. But take these away and you could have a real recipe for disaster.

Clear your kitchen table and add pressure…I mean REAL PRESSURE…at least a couple of pounds worth. Mix in a couple of handful’s worth of bills. Add to this a tablespoon of debt. Mix well and bake real hard for a couple of years.

I can’t predict what you will end up with but nor can you. If this isn’t your bag then your life probably isn’t as bad as you think it is.

Most people I know who have a job work to live. Most people I know who have their own business live to work. No one is right and no one is wrong but you need to try and imagine which life would make you feel more alive.

I bet you know someone who moved abroad and has recently returned. They couldn’t hack it. The UK was always cold and miserable and they wanted sun, sea and sand. They had seen ‘Crocodile Dundee’ a couple of times and fancied the look of the bush.

Now they are back. Good on them for having a go but they sure could have saved them selves a whole lot of grief and money if they had tested the waters beforehand and had some insight into what they would miss and what they would have been leaving behind.

Most of life’s big decisions have their pro’s and cons.

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Therefore going into business IMO is a little like entering marriage. It should not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of the taxman. Once you go into business, that business will/should take over ones life.

Introduction.

Let’s get this straight from the start….I am not a real person. Mr. Slugworth’s Choc Blog is just a persona for me to hide behind, a mask. I don’t represent anybody or anything and some of the things I have to say could have just been made up…depends what mood I’m in.

I could have been any one of Mr. Fickelgruber, Mr. Prodnose or Mr. Slugworth, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that (hopefully) through this vehicle I can give you some insight into the chocolate business.

 Let’s not forget that more than anything, chocolate is a business..it’s massive! The total value of the chocolate market in the United Kingdom (UK) is reputed to be £3.6bn for 2010. Some people make loads of money from it, some people very little.

Want to have a go at starting your own chocolate business? Well maybe I can help by giving you more questions than answers.

Who’s hot? Who’s not? Who cares?  

I will never ever tell you what you should or shouldn’t be eating in regards to chocolate. That would be really sad. If you like it, eat it; if you don't, well don't! What ever you do please don't buy something just because some so called 'expert' told you what you should be munching on. You are the expert when it comes to what you put into your own mouth.

Recipes?  Maybe a few. But I’ve only ripped them off from somebody else and added/changed a few extra ingredients. Who hasn’t?

That’s it for now; let’s see how we get on.