As if I needed another reason to hate the Steve Wright Show on Radio 2 (Am I the only person not to think this guy is some kind of broadcasting God? Same goes with that miserable old duffer on Radio 5 Live..Peter Allen). The other day the show was blaring out some twaddle (some people round me like the ‘non stop golden oldies’ section and I’m not that selfish) when green goblin Janey Lee Grace suddenly pulls me out of my self induced trance with the sound ‘Kak-kow-a’. Even before the word fully passes through my external auditory canal I realise she is referring to what you and I know as ‘Cocoa’.
Now I’m not stupid. I know ‘cacao’ is the proper Hispanic name and ‘cocoa’ is a derivative of that name. In England we have been using the word ‘cocoa’ since probably the 18th century. It more than likely came about by a spelling mistake.
Let me explain. The earliest English language reference I’ve come across is in the 1633 edition of John Gerard’s famous Herbal or General History of Plants where he calls ‘Cacao’ ‘Cacoa’! See what he’s done there? He’s switched the ‘ao’ to ‘oa’. Let’s face it, it’s easier for us English to pronounce and you probably feel less of a prat saying it.
Personally I blame it all on William "Willie" George Harcourt-Cooze and his Channel 4 series.. At least he’s spent some time in South America. From other peoples laughing tackle, ‘Kak-kow-a’ just sounds plain daft.
So why have some sections of our society started saying ‘cacao’ instead of ‘cocoa’? It’s not like we are going round pronouncing ‘Barthelona’ (Castille style) instead of ‘Barcelona’ or ‘tomate’ (another Spanish Mexican acquisition) instead of ‘tomato’.
‘Cocoa’ has been cool for centuries, what’s changed? I have my theories. For nearly 3 millennium chocolate was a drink for the elite or very rich. This changed with the industrial revolution where it eventually became a cheap food for the masses. Now some people would like to reverse that. Obviously they have their reasons, some of which I actually understand. But I reckon most of it is to do with snobbery. Some people are like that. They just love to find a big stick and smack the great unwashed and ignorant over the head with it because it makes them feel much better about stuff.
In the last 20-30 years perceptions in regards to the brown stuff have changed but it is always going to be just a small niche thing discussed amongst certain enthusiasts and crazies. Will the vast majority of people in this country eventually give up their Mars Bars and Dairy Milk in favour of some Amedei or Valrhona? Nah! No chance! Too expensive and not enough sugar content. We love sugar in this country.
It’s not even going to be up there with wine or beer because chocolate doesn’t get you pissed and everyone knows we like to get pissed.
